Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell in some ice and later got thawed out by your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! When I see a solar eclipse like the one last week, I become scared and think, 'Oh no! Is the moon eating the sun?' Because I'm a caveman, and that's the way I think.
But there is one thing I do know...and that's the fact that American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert is indeed, without a shadow of a doubt, a homosexual. I hope the ladies & gentlemen of the jury will find this to be the case. Thank you.
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